Today I Decided to Become a Man

Well, at the very least, I tried. Behold the results.

No, I did not cut my wrists. I was doing what most kids do when they are 14 or 15, some as early as 13. I am 19 going on 20 and today was my first experience with the razor.

I never knew that shaving could turn out to be such a bloody affair. I was getting sick of the hair that's growing longer and longer above my upper lip and I thought shaving would be really simple and easy.

So I was like, shaving foam, spray liberally, grab razor, scrape off hairy parts, voila! How was I supposed to know there were like, proper methods to do it? At first it just hurts. Then blood started coming out from little tiny gashes. Then I was like, ahhh help me God I'm gonna die. Then I started panicking cuz I was going shopping and my mouth is beginning to swell making me look like I had oral herpes. UGH.

It's gonna be a while before I overcome this trauma and start going near razors again. Waxing might be a better idea for moi right? The whole day I was walking around I was sure everyone who saw me could tell that I was the boy who couldn't shave right. Oh the shame! I am such a failure I might as well be made of pure estrogen LOL.