(Fail) Rehab's Over!

It's always amusing to see the reactions that Sasha brings out in young, crazy village kids everytime I walk her.
Them naughty boys usually turn into apes upon seeing her; hooting and hollering at her, probably trying to get her to chase them or something. I have to endure them making all sorts of animal sounds.
Girls are girls; you know how they squueeeeal when they see cuddly, fluffy things.
But no matter what people do when they see her, they always say the same inescapable fact. Just this evening one girl said,
"Eeeeeeee gemoknyaa dia comel larh!"

I cannot get over how fat she is! She's like the Fattest Schnauzer Alive!
The other one pun sama jugak.

Both can get crazy over the tiniest bit of food, and we are already feeding them sooo mucchhh.

They can spend 20 minutes circling the dinner table after everyone has left just to see if there are any scraps on the floor. Siao kao.

Well, it's already my last 8 hours in Terengganu. Feel like I've been here for ages and ages but then it also feels like out of nowhere time crept up and I've got to go back again. Weird. I'm so happy I came back though. I get to eat proper meals with fantastic dishes everyday. I get to bake myself on a lurrvvely beach everyday (except that one day when it rained so heavily) aaaaand I get to made MAJOR plastic damage when Mummy took me out for a sudden shopping trip 2 days ago (sadly, this one not everyday). I'm so happy!

Also very happy that I'm going back to KL. I'm going to hit the ground running. I reach KL tomorrow but I think I'll only get to duduk in my own room on Saturday or Sunday hehe. My plans for the next 4 days are already full like wanna burst! I love long, fun-filled weekends =)

Sometimes I Wonder If It's All A Joke?

My ex, someone I used to fancy, my sister and my best friend are out partying. Together.

There used to be conflict with my best friend over my ex. There was also conflict with my ex over my former interest, and vice versa.

Now they are all out having a great time while I, the initial mutual link, is slowly dying of boredom and other things 8 hours away from it all.

HA HA HA HA HA HA Ha Ha Ha ha ha ha ha (?)

Whiny Bitch

Now that I'm back in KT, I have the car and I have the re$$ource$$ (okay, my parents have, technically BUT WHATEVER). What I don't have are The Friends OR the places where I can make new friends. SIGH. Where are the bars? Where is the MP, the Frangi, the Maison? Why must life always be so win-some-lose-some?

And why, WHHYY must the MSSN (or whatever it's called) take my beloved Joceline away from me??? I know it sounds so tragic like she's dead (CHOI!) but it's really very sad. Who am I going to disturb and bully? Who am I going to chauffeur around? Who is going to hack my Twitter account? Who am I going to kidnap in the middle of the night to McD's? Who is going to teman me to the beach and compare how tan we are? Who who who???
***OMG I sound sooo fucking needy nowadays!

And you know what, I was eating at a warung just now and this really stupid thing happened. I saw they had Penang Char Koay Teow so I was like, Oooooh! cuz dah lama tak makan, kan. Then I ordered but like, 20 minutes after we finished our satay and drinks (finished kay, not food just reached or what) the guy strolls over and was like, Hey you guys order char koay teow kan? You nak kering ke basah? WHAT THE HUH? I was, Kita nak PENANG char koay teow. Ya lah, kering ke basah? Erm tak payah lah, cancel order je thanks. Seriously WTF do you even know what Penang Char Koay Teow looks like? Superbly bengong. Don't act clever if don't know okay. Very buat malu. It's like you're at McD's ordering a Filet-o-Fish and they asked you if you want beef or chicken with that. Just like they have different kinds of burgers, there are different kinds of koay teows. If you only know how to make koay teow basah (hehe!) then just stick with that and don't pandai-pandai advertise that you have char koay teow.

Back on Driver Duty

I reach home after an 8-hour bus ride and my dad gives me just enough time to put down my bag, pee, say hi to my mom, my grandma and my two dogs and set me to my first task: pick my sister up from tuition class.

My itenerary for the next three days has been confirmed. It revolves around my sister's schedule of school, extra classes, bowling games and wherever else she wants me to send her.

This of all things, is the biggest reminder that I am home! LOL!

But of course, this being KT, driving styles need to be slightly adapted and set to "small-town" mode.

What that means is I gotta remind myself always that there are no fast lanes here but lots of stupid bitches who don't know how to drive and even if I drive at 60 km/h there won't be anyone behind me honking or tailgating.

Although, things feel a little strange now. The last time I came back, it was CNY and therefore very riuh everyday. Friends were everywhere, and I wasn't single. Now it's rather lonely. Jacq's not here, Joceline's gonna disappear in a few days (my colleague in sunbathing!!) and again I feel the need to complain about how sucky it is not to have anyone to call you and say hey taken your dinner yet? and goodnight baby.

Zombiefied

For the past 48 hours, I've been operating on 7 hours of sleep.

Don't have my usual luxury of afternoon naps either.

Exhausted. I'm like a zombie, can die.

All sebab parents are here and I still refuse to give up my usual weekend routine haha.

Imagine, getting a hungover that lasts for like 15 hours and you have to go through all the motions of being sober and alert and healthy in front of your momma!

The moment it stops, you get ready to go out and get smashed again. Only you didn't, so you babysat your trainwrecked best friend who was always the one taking care of you. LOL ;p

My life is glorious! :D

And oh, it still kinda hurts when you realize you don't have anyone to call and say, hey by the way I'm not coming back home tonight, I'm crashing at my sister's place.

Hmph.

Why Do I Never Learn?

I should stop going grocery-shopping when I'm starving like mad.

I will only end up like a crazy old lady who is stocking her kitchen AND basement full of food because someone told her that the world is going to end soon or WW3 is right about to happen.

I can't even feel my arms no more after lugging all them bloody groceries back home.

On another note, WW3 does seem like it is going to happen rather soon. Oh why do I never learn?

Things That Were Nice This Weekend

1. Movie Time Alone
I think the last time I did this was like, 2007? I used to go for movies alone all the time, especially all the boring movies with no explosions nobody wanted to watch but along the way, I became the kind who needed to go with somebody all the time. I forgot how relaxing it is being in a cold, dark theatre alone (or as alone as can be on a rainy Friday afternoon). I think I'mma do this more often, like once a week :)

And yeah it was about white, middle-aged divorcees but you know, the exes and moving on parts of the movie, I could really relate to that.

2. House hunting
I tell you, I hate it every time I need to move. I hate looking for a new place, I hate the moving process, I hate the settling in again. But OMG I'm so excited now! Cuz it's totally different this time, we getting a place of our own! Imagine, Jacqueline and I gonna be living in the same place. It will be a proper house. We can like, cook and eat in the kitchen. Watch TV in the living room. Instead of doing it all that in a friggin' tiny room, like what we're doing now. Aaahhh! We can bring Sasha down if we want to. We can decorate the whole place like a brothel if we (okay, I) want to. And talking bout decorating, OMG can go siao at Ikea! Also, can like run around naked. Blast the speakers like crazy. I can have a fridge stocked full with all sorts of beer and liquors and mixers! My friends can come over every week and we can have slumber parties, house parties, drinking sessions, mahjong sessions, movie marathons OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. OK stop. Stop. Don't count chickens before eggs hatch.

3. Getting crazyshitwrecked.
OK, I broke my No-MP-on-Saturdays puasa which has been going on for three weeks dy. Haih. Thought could go one month without Trainwreck Saturdays one. Jacqueline la, so beria-ria hype me up on Friday don't know for what. Oh well, hello again Hungover Sundays.

Yay Finally Pictures!

Yesterday we had a cooking session at a friend's house! It was so much fun :D I think this is like, the first time I'm doing something like this, like really hanging out at a friend's house ever since I started here in September 2008. Usually go people house also for assignment or something like that. Har har shows you how social I am right.

Granted, I did only like 4.5% of the cooking and 65% of the eating but still that's more cooking than I've ever done back at home k? Plus, the other girls were so pro there was nothing left for me to do except become the unofficial food-taster heh heh ;) They were so pro they were cooking and doing everything damn fast. Like, by 7 we were already sitting down to enjoy the yumness :)

Look! I'm cooking! And not only that, it's GREEN okay!

OMG the ultra delicious teriyaki chicken! Looking at this makes me fungry again.

Eating sambil watching Mr. Bean. Very at home punya feel right? Aw.

Rocking out (haha kononnya!) after dinner. At least I'm not a total failure at Guitar Hero lah, **wink wink JemLee cough cough**

Beh Song!

What's the point of giving out numbers if some fat Indian bitch is just gonna cut the queue and then bring her gaggle of friends to the front???

Tak boleh tahan. The tallest and prettiest but also the hairiest obviously thinks she's very entitled, walk up straight to the front of the line.

The short, insecure one at least got a bit of decency to be ashamed. She was like, hey are we cutting the queue actually?

But the fattest and also the loudest was like, no the person said whoever wanna check their documents can come to this desk. Saying it for my benefit la obviously, cuz I was right behind them and was jeling-ing at her. Cibai. Dare to jeling back some more.

Hello, come from the back cannot? Must come from the sides? You got see people queuing sideways ke? She asked you to come to this desk only, she got ask you to cut the queue ke? Got ask you to tell your friends they don't have to queue, just come straight up? Pukimak betul.

So happy when I see their documents rejected over and over again. Change this, write that, you didn't fill up here, you haven't certified that. Bengong. Some things already have very obvious, specific and direct instructions one lor, I don't know why people (not just this gang of rude bitches) can salah all the simple simple things.

But I'm not in a good position to say people lah. My TARC transcript almost got rejected. Ya Allah. If rejected, I gotta go aaaaaallll the waaaay to Setapak to take another bloody transcript lor. WTF right. But luckily dah solved and it wasn't even my fault. TARC don't know how to print transcripts! Hahahah.

Now everything is done. Hopefully approved la OMG. My BB and mah mojitos are already waiting for me!

P.S. Can I actually say that? If someone like reports me, will everything get revoked? OMG hopefully not!

I'm Not Lindsay!

Yay I'm so proud of myself! I managed to resist temptation and stayed home instead of boozing and partying, THREE SATURDAYS in a row! Especially at the beginning of the month, when I'm not broke like hell and can still afford to do so.

I reached home from Pavilion at 10-ish and I thought, maybe I could rest for a couple of hours then run out to the club at around 1 something.

Sometimes it's not like you really want to drink, or really want to dance, or really want hook up with someone. You just wanna be somewhere, doing something.

But staying at home and staring at the computer for 5 hours straight is doing something, right? Right???

I kept thinking to myself 'Control yourself, control yourself!' and Andy's new nickname for me (which is Trainwreck btw) and how I don't want to be known as that and it took all my effort not to dress up and drive out.

It's not like by abstaining from clubbing I'm leading a healthier life or what. It's 4 am and I'm still awake so yep, still unhealthy. It's just that I'm trying to reduce the amount of times I'm stumbling around drunk and slurring at random strangers.

But you know what, my life is like a fucking TV drama. It's unbelievable. Just when I thought, hey I'm better now, moving on, nothing to see here, you can stop worrying about me now, blah blah blah, the shit just like, doubles. Seriously, I don't know how to deal. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL OKAY!

Breathe.

Phew. Seriously, I'm fine. And I don't want pity.

Digressing here:
I just want to strangle someone! Two someones actually. I know I tend to be dramatic and paranoid but I'm not fucking stupid okay? I'm clueless about lots of things like cars and mechanical stuff and artsy fartsy things but NOT about this. I had a hunch and I didn't want it to be right. But I was toooo busybody for my own good and I dug it out (not that it really needed to be dug out) and now would I feel better if I didn't know? I don't know. I think I wouldn't have liked living a lie, even if it's a beautiful one. Now I'm just alternating between feeling pissed and.... yeah, I'm just feeling pissed, like all the fucking time. Who do I hate more? I cannot decide. And yet I still wait for calls and texts and dinners and coming home. GGRRRHHH I hate this kinda split-personality punya uncertainty!

Shit man. Now I feel like I'm going crazy, after re-reading all the things I've written here. How did an entry that started with what seemed like semi-happiness became more and more emo and then ended with all this Rage? With all these crazy emotions in me, no wonder I was drinking like mad the last few weeks. (Last few weeks okay, now my liver and I are back to normal!)

And an even more important question, why am I still stuck on this after so many days, weeks??? Usually I'm an excellent bounce-backer. I'm superb. I laugh at people, I laugh at myself. Nothing fazes me. So why now like this? WHY? Is it because You Won't Get Out of My Fucking Life? Or is it because The One Who Was Supposed to Help Me Get Through It is now causing a whole other set of headaches and heartbreaks?

Oh well, I'm a strong bitch. And this is already much much longer than it should have been. It was supposed to be a few lines, a "Hey look at me! I stayed home! I'm a good boy! Not an alco! Not Lindsay! Woohoo!" kinda thing and then it turned into this. Siao.

I guess it's cuz now I have lots of things to say and no one to say it to. LOL. And I really do feel better after this massive how-do-I-feel vomit, so whatever helps right? At least I'm not doing drugs =D